Perth Music

Ever written a lengthy post only to have your machine crash and lose the lot? Just happened to me...

Anyway, a great site that all lovers of quality independent Perth music should bookmark is: http://www.perthmusic.blogspot.com

Despite this town being known as 'Cover Band City' ever since Todd Johnston and V-Capri graced the stage at the smoked glass, chrome, plastic palm trees and cream brick Floreat Park Hotel, we do have an incredible underbelly of fine original musicians.

I remember my 'hey day' back in the 80s - shut up, there was too some good music! - seeing bands the likes of The Stems, 20th Century Crucifixion, Kansas City Killers, The Holly Rollers, Die Monster Die, Cinema Prague and Love Pump at such venues as The Shents, The Grosvenor and The Old Melbourne.

Of course, these venues are long gone and no longer will I feel the hair on my head slowly singe during a fire breathing moment with The Painters and Dockers, or revel in the platform shoed glory of Love Pump in full flight. But, hey - this town needs more retirement homes!

I also remember a place called Fat City Cafe off The Broadway in Nedlands which went right off on a Sunday... however, the last time old Hadie and myself rocked up there, a Nedlands-type with a lemon jumper tied around his neck and deck shoes said there'd never been bands at the venue and told us to politely push off... does anyone else remember this place???

My most memorable gig? - a night at the Shents sharing the contents of a hollowed out bible sent from the midst of a Queensland jungle while Kim Salmon set about making his guitar talk to me in three different languages... what's yours?

How well do you know me?

Got this by email today & would be interested in your responses either by a post below, or by email to my Yahoo adress: cookemedia@yahoo.com.au

I've been tagged. So here it goes (I got this in my lunch break) ...delete my answers, replace with your own and send it back to me and on to other friends you decide to tag!

How well do you know me?? For instance, did you know...

Four jobs I have had in my life include:
1. Newsagency debt collector
2. Warehouse picker
3. Bartender
4. Driver-Trainer

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Withnail & I
2. The Big Lebowski
3. Blue Velvet
4. Bliss

Four places you have lived:
1. Fremantle / Scarborough / West Leederville / Marmion / Nedlands - Perth
2. Hertford / Islington / Hackney - UK
3. Mulgrave / Port Melbourne / Toorak / Yarraville - Melbourne
4. Darwin

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. All Saints
2. Myth Busters
3. Little Britain
4. Bargain Hunt

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Rottnest
2. Greek Islands
3. Europe4. Singapore

Four websites I visit daily, most days:
1. www.theperthfiles.blogspot.com
2. www.mediaportal.com.au
3. www.bom.gov.au
4. www.dockerland.com

Four of my favourite foods:
1. Lemon slurpees
2. Beef jerky (chili)
3. Seafood
4. Tea Leaf smoked duck

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Little Parakeet Bay, Rottnest
2. The Quokka Arms, Rottnest
3. Shark Bay Bowling Club
4. Wallowing about in a swimming pool filled with $100 notes

Tony Mokbel - where the bloody hell are you?

It's interesting to note that apart from Ben Cousins, the biggest number of hits on this blog are from web search results on 'Tony Mokbel' - mostly from Victoria and Heidelberg in particular (Map Stats and ClustrMaps are a great resource!).

Well, just in case there's a police squad devoted to searching blogs for gangsters that flee bail, let me put it on record that I'm strictly in the "Tony, where the bloody hell are you?" category when it comes to his whereabouts.

What did surprise me the other day was that someone in Dubai did a search on 'Fat' Tony and was directed through to my blog. After transferring $20 million overseas, there are worse places in the world to play golf and work on a sun tan.

So Tony, if you're out there, drop us a line and let us know what the weather's like!
IMAGE: Courtesy of The Age

Kevin Bloody Wilson in Lancelin

Ahh, nothing like a long weekend in lovely Lancelin, bed-riden by a demon chest cold and a lower back spasm - the two complaints work a treat when combined! If it wasn't for the 1,000 milligram 'big bertha' antinflammatories and a sensational win by the Freo Dockers, it might have been an Easter to forget.

Of course, one of Lancelin's most famous residents is none other than the 'effin and blinding Kevin Bloody Wilson. I was pleased to see as I drove past his beachside manor that his boat was also named in appropriate KBW style - 'Far Canal'.

For those of you not well versed in Aussie 'strine', I'll spell it out for you, 'Far Canal... far-kin-al... far-kin-hell..." Got it? It's a bit like the perenial 'Far Q' and 'Far Q2'.

We love a play on words in Australia and even more so we love a sweary name. Here are some of my all time faves:

Wayne King (went to my high school)
Wayne Kerr (I had a teacher of that name!)
Richard (Dick) Wenker (I had to write a business profile about the man!)
Hung Long (far as I know his restaurant's still open in Northbridge)

Image: pure gold from the Kevin Bloody Wilson website!

Bull ants, 'boondies', bogans and bore water...

Perth is a funny old place really, it has a certain character that brings to mind bore water staining, 'boondies', bull ants and the ubiquitous bogan.

To the visitor, many parts of Perth must appear as though they are rusting - fences, walls, kerbing and indeed, whole primary schools. As a kid I remember feeling quite repulsed by bore water stains and I would often wonder why people used this water if it turned everything a rusty brown.

I think the underlying love affair with bore water is the Perthite's need to defy the odds and maintain their little patches of green in suburbia. Essentially, most of us live on a large sand dune and by rights we shouldn't have lawns at all - But tell that to a Perth person and you're nothing but a savage. The dryest state in Australia? To hell with it - pass me my Pope sprinkler and let me go to work! While Melbourne lawns are left to die in summer due to water restrictions, over here it's all systems go.

Speaking of sand dunes, Perth is also the home of the 'boondie' - hardened pockets of sand (mainly of the yellow variety) that are thrown like snow balls. I have a bad memory of being hit in the eye with a supposed 'boondie' that turned out to be a real rock covered in yellow sand. I've been off them ever since.

Bull ants? Big black bastards with ferocious pincers that hang out at popular picnic spots waiting to crawl up your inside leg as you try and keep the bush flies off your snaggers. Enough said.
And the bogan - not native to Perth, but a key feature none-the-less. Begins life as a prolific boondie thrower and progresses to driving purple Valiants in a looping fashion around popular urban meeting places.

Anyway, must go and listen to Little Johnny Howard doing his best Sergeant Schultz impersonation at the Cole enquiry - that little bloke just cracks me up! And Lexie Downer - ooh, don't you want to pinch those little ruddy cheeks just right off his face!

Time waits for no Docker

Just in case you wanted to know this.

On The 4th of next month, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again.

You may now return to your life.

On another note, to all the purple brethren, I look forward to seeing you out in force at Subiaco on Saturday afternoon - that'll be Saturday night for you eastern staters.

I'll be the guy behind the goals at the Hadyn Bunton Drive side of the ground muttering about how crap it is that you can only buy mid-strength beer... Harf, it's your shout son.

Go The Dockers!