Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Pot calling the kettle a monkey?

Nah, calling a bloke a monkey isn't racist - what's wrong with Andrew Symonds, can't he take a joke? Instead he should have given Singh a friendly punch on the shoulder, called him a curry munching rag head, had a good laugh and trotted back to mid on and got on with it... crikey, sensitive or what!

But Brad Hogg, well... talk about stepping over the mark. Fancy calling someone a BASTARD! The ICC should suspend him immediately and put him through a three month anger management course - yep, I've always thought that affable sheep farmer with the overactive tongue approach was simply a front for a very angry, angry, spiteful man.

And Gilchrist! Oh yes, all well and good to spend most of his free weekends in Perth helping out at the local Auskick and Have a Go Cricket Clinics, then drop in for a visit to Ronald McDonald House where he's the Patron... but it's all a ruse! Underneath that good guy exterior is an evil genius plotting the downfall of subcontinent cricket with his evil primate mates Ponting and Symonds.

It's a disgrace I tells ya - sack 'em all!

What right does the ICC have to believe that Singh called Symonds a monkey? It's not as though he's done it before has he? Oh dear, he has?

Anil Kumble, what a vision of sportsmanship - how does the saying go? 'I'm pulling up my stumps and going home, screw you guys'. Good on him. Nothing like a good old whinge over a bowl of sour grapes when you lose a game of cricket I say.

And while you're at it, why not really spit the dummy and play tit-for-tat on abuse accusations - you reported our leading spin bowler, so we'll report yours... nah, nah, nah! But come on Kumble, 'bastard' is a term of abuse that's hardly likely to change the course of international relations, how about dragging out the 'C' word, or maybe you could say he called you a 'bitch' or 'ho' to make it a cross gender thing.

At the end of the day the most satisfying outcome is seeing the good people of India rightiously going about their business of burning effigies of black men (the other black men), most notably Symonds and Bucknor. Boy oh boy, and the t-shirts are a great touch - how imaginative and so subtle in their message - what a great time to be an Indian cricket supporter!

What the ICC has to recognise is that it isn't the world body in cricket - it's the Board of Control for Cricket in India. It's a cheek that the Indian side should even have to leave its own shores!

I for one will be wearing my best gorrilla suit to the WACA test and proudly putting my Bic lighter to the Australian flag - enough of all this monkey business and let's hear it for the Turbinator!


Jo said...

I can understand the rage, but in the peak of the rage you forget the fact that 'bastard' is not a fancy word here in India. It is the most insulting term here.

Well, ICC hasn't been partial to Harbhajan or India and it is just that 'innocent until proven guilty' thing after India went on an appeal. I am sure you can understand that as a journalist. Let's wait and see if the whole monkey business happened at all.

Cookster said...

Jo, can you explain why it took so long for the charge against Brad Hogg to be made? Indeed, did he really say it at all? If the charge is dismissed and the ban lifted, then obviously the Australian team lied - is that what you think has happened?

By the way, there's no rage here - no effigies of a racist Singh being burnt in the streets, no t-shirts vilifying him on racial grounds, indeed the debate is a very even one.

How do you think I'd go walking down the main street in Bombay wearing an Australian team shirt?

Jo said...

I don't know what has happened (both with Brad Hogg and Harbhajan Singh) and only a detailed inquiry can tell us if Harbhajan called Symonds a 'monkey' or Brad uttered 'bastard'. And I think the ICC decision on this case is sensible. They haven't lifted the charges on Harbhajan and an inquiry will be made.

Yes, the people of Australia have reacted sensibly to this issue while their Indian counterparts went overboard. That is something I also have written about and I do not support the racist/discriminatory remarks of anyone, regardless of his/her race or country.

And walking down on the roads of Bombay with the Australian team t-shirt during these days might give you some stares, that's all. :-) Nothing else will happen and believe me, after a few days they won't even care to notice if it's the Aussie team t-shirt. It is a busy city with people who come from all over India struggling to make their ends meet.

Anonymous said...

Well! Everything you said was right. Let us assume. But, are australians THE ass-watchers?.. I mean, Do you watch each others ass? I really did not know THE MONKEY was very intersted in Lee's ass.