Turn off your spinklers, you nonces!

I took the bins out first thing this morning inbetween heavy showers sweeping in off the ocean, only to be confronted by sprinklers in full flight on the properties both sides of my house.

Watering in the rain. Are we stupid, or what? Okay, so people program their reticulation for ease of use, but is it really that hard to turn the system off when winter arrives and just turn it back on manually if we hit a dry stretch?

I say not, and so does the state government.

Water Minister Graham Jacobs said the frustrating and disappointing aspect from the Water Corporation's point of view was that throughout summer and well into autumn, daily water consumption was less than what would have been expected and well on track to saving the anticipated 45 billion litres through the sprinkler roster and other water demand measures.

“However, from that time on, despite the long warm and dry spell, during which it could be expected consumption would be a little higher, it became much higher and, until last week, remained ridiculously high,” he said.

“The State Government supports the Water Corporation’s concerns that, if we can't quickly get back on track, serious consideration will be given to a winter sprinkler ban.

“This idea would not be a panic move but a realistic reaction to the current situation. The State needs to bank water now for the summer, even if we do get good winter rains."

Now hear this Perth, we live on a freaking sand dune (most of us) and by rights we should have no lawns whatsoever.

Would our gardens really suffer if we weren't allowed to use reticulation in winter? No, they wouldn't. Even when it's dry, get out there at 6am and roll around on your lawns to check out just how wet they are anyway.

Okay, so you use bore water so it must be okay? No, you're an idiot. What, you think the world is an empty ball that's full of water that will last for ever? No again. It's a limited supply and it too is running out, just like our ludicrously low level dams.

In Melbourne you can't water your lawns at all in summer. It's a fact of life and people have built a bridge and got over themselves.

Here in Perth we're getting all 'cat's bum mouthed' over the prospect of losing the sprinkler during winter.

I would never propose that people take the law into their own hands, but an old 3 iron used in anger would take the tops off those sprinkler heads fairly smartly if they happened to show their heads in the rain.

It's okay neighbours, my clubs shall remain locked in the shed... for now.