Man the barricades - Cheerio alert!

Man the barricades, break out the gas masks and boil the oil - there's been a border incursion!

Yesterday was shopping day (yes, day not night...) and there sitting boldy (and beautifully) on the kitchen bench when I got home was a box of CHEERIOS - the last bastion of Americana now washing up on beaches from Broome to Bullamakanka (do they have a beach there?).

Forget the Indo boats pinching our trochus shell, we need the border patrol on Cheerio watch now, before other insidious US-made products sneak across our shores like spam spiders gone mad.

I remember a day when Cheerios were an untouchable fantasy that lurked on the back pages of Archie comics with Twinkies Cupcakes, X-Ray Specs and Sea Monkeys. God help me, I can even remember the day when Hubba Bubba was introduced onto the market and consigned Bubble O Joe to the depths of gum obscurity - loved that Joe...

No, I'm sorry, but this is the US-Australia free trade agreement gone mad. US farmers are contemplating early retirement on the back of this shonky deal, while all we've got in return is boxes and boxes of freakin' Cheerios.

Johnny Howard, I suggest you pack a few boxes of the stuff into the back of the Landy, take it out back of Cunderdin way and show the people of this great land first hand what George W has done for them. Oh and make sure you wear that special akubra of yours, it makes you look so Steve Irwin.

I'll be rooting for you all the way.