The final countdown

Crikey Col, you were a bit cranky with the Woolfe boy on 720 ABC radio just then!

I know there's hundreds of vol-ou-vants and horse's doovers to knock up before tomorrow's shindig. And the missus needs the labs cleaned and polished. But to get all uppity and claim that this is THE most engaged you've ever seen WA voters during an election campaign, is clearly the rantings of a man who has smoked way too much herring... waaayyyy too much!BTW, have you moved on to the octopus already?

And Carps, if you play down your chances any further, you'll be conceding and handing over the keys the the Statesman before a single vote is cast in anger.

Sheesh boys, let's get a grip... One day to go.

Fear and loathing on the WA campaign trail

This election has given me the yips. There is no doubting that the Libs were in disarray only a few short weeks ago, but somehow, Colin Barnett has managed to haul himself out of his slippery-sided retirement canal and looks like having a 'sniff' of winning this race. Who woulda thunk it?

Much of his campaign to date has been based on asserting that Carps' decision to call a snap poll just as we were heading into two weeks of Olympics was the act of an arrogant and desperate man. "He's running and I'm chasing," Col said at the time.

Even Carps is now admitting that much of the shit being thrown has stuck to the blanket and his party is now claiming underdog status - the anti-arrogance ploy... would you like a powerpoint on that?

Making hay while he was nipping at Carps' heels, Col commissioned a series of ad campaigns that tailed off with the slogan, 'Carpenters can't fix everything' (or something equally as corny) complete with the sound of sawing and hammering. A particularly lamentable effort that appears to have been coined by the office work experience kid who no doubt thinks he / she has a fabulous career ahead in advertising - no, you don't.

But that old adage, it's time for a change, seems to have some momentum in this campaign. Yes, we all know the Libs have a list of ex-leaders that rivals Imelda Marcos' shoe collection, but apart from the canal cock up, Col appears to be gaining traction. It's a steep and treacherous slope, but he only has to hold on for two more weeks.

In a bid to knock Col off the pile, Carps is doing what all good West Aussies would, and launching a few well aimed boondies at his rival's bonce. He's hoping to find that rarest of rare boondies that's hiding a stone inside the crusty outer layer of relatively harmless sand. A boondie with a stone at its core is a sure fire way to land an unexpected and potentially critical blow to the Lib's campaign... they've been known to take out an eye and this is the sort of collatoral damage that the ALP is needing right about about now.

Today, Carps held a presser in the back of a combi van in South Terrace, Fremantle, promising to legislate to ban uranium mining... man... if he was re-elected. After passing the doobie across to the Greens - Olympic baton style - Carps calmly readjusted his kaftan, splashed on some patchouli and strolled arrog... ummm... purposefully across the road for a refreshing cup of lemon zinger.

Meanwhile, Col was impressing the kids on NOVA by promising the hosts that he'd personally buy them a handball to kickstart their bid to have Australia represent the sport at the next Olympic Games. Hip man. Broken hip.

So far, the voter comment that most effectively sums up this campaign was aired on 720 ABC radio yesterday. In response to the question, 'who will you be voting for?' a Kingsley woman giggled and fired back with, 'I dunno, whoever my husband's voting for'.

Is it any wonder that in this great State we can't buy groceries on a Sunday and people start foaming at the mouth when you mention daylight saving? And don't get me started on the front lawn. Just don't.

Hang tough and watch out for flying boondies.