Thursday, June 07, 2007

Round 11 AFL tipping guide

Bombers v Meth abusers: Phone Dome
The Weagles should win this, especially if their interstate connections come through with the good stuff before half time, but expect 'high shorts' Lloyd to have an inspired night out and Hirdy to walk on water to bring them home. In other words, I hope the Dons win cause I hate the yellow and blue pricks!
Look out for: Taxi drivers removing their arials.
Result: Eagles to score heavily, but Bombers to win by 9 points.

Hawks v Sidderknee: MCG
The Hawks have been playing like they've been into the West Coast medicine cabinet, but all good things must come to an end and I predict our feathered friends will once again start handballing themselves out of the game.
Look out for: The freakish 'I'm your Buddy' Franklin.
Result: A desperate Sidders by 13 points.

Lions v The Doggies: Gabba Dabba Doo
Fucked if I know what the Lions are doing from one game to the next and a draw against the Tiges isn't worth writing home to your Momma about. But Leigh Matthews is a dirty bastard and he also likes palm trees, sand and particularly loud Hawain shirts (yeah, never could spell it right). Despite the return of Aker to his home town and the Dog's good form, Leigh won't drop this one.
Look out for: Browny to pull Aker's jocks out through his throat.
Result: Lions by 3 points.

Caaaarlton v Port Boganland: Phone Dome
Couldn't give a fuck quite frankly, but I'd like to see Fevola and Chad Kornes knock each other out in a clash of large heads. And die.
Look out for: The bar.
Result: The Blues by 11 points.

Crows v the Cats: Adelaide
Those pussies are all juiced up and travelling nicely, led by the stinky blood nut Ling who sticks to his opponents like love juice to a blanket. But a bit like the Hawks, time is nigh for this outfit of pretenders to implode and limp sadly to another season of obscurity. Besides, if the Crows lose at home in front of a crowd sporting haircuts that make Fat Tony's wig look positively glam, then no one is getting out of there alive.
Look out for: Piggy Ling's sexy ginger freckle bursting out of his white shorts.
Result: Crows by 13 points.

Saints v Roos: Phone Dome
All I want to see out of this game is the big 'G' train, 'Gold' - as in neck-less - do his nut and start pulling some hair. Expect Kosi to cop another concussion. Ree-volt to cement his place as Mr Albino 2007 and the Roos to come home in a game that will have all the highlights of a Paris in Jail documentary.
Look out for: The salt and pepper squid in the snack bar on level 4.
Result: Ummmm, Roos by 9 points.

The Mighty Dockers v the toothless Tiges: Subiaco
If by game's end big 211cm Aaron Sandilands isn't hunkered down in the centre square at Subiaco roasting the flesh of tiger carcasses over a Samoan barbecue pit, then it really is all over for the Dockers. Big Pav has been practicing his kicking all week and Taz has finally washed off the acrid stench of the Collingwood faithful after last week's debacle, now it's time to have some fun - just don't stray too close to Sandi's mouth!
Look out for: The angry giant wearing purple - you might get trod on.
Result: Freo by 54 points.

Demons v Collingwood: MCG
Well, the young Dees put on a splendid show last week in notching up their first win of the season, however, quite frankly we don't give a flying fuck. The high country has a glorious dusting of snow, the Rangie is chockers with Chardy and the ski season is about to kick off what ho! So it's toodles for Melbourne and time for Darth Vadar Malthouse to once again whip out his light sabre and give them a jolly good thrashing.
Look out for: Lots of tweed disappearing through the turnstiles at half time.
Result: Collingwood by 23 points.


2BarRiff said...


Hirdy to walk on water

Alas you were right ... would that you were wrong.

Anonymous said...

Another fine display by the angels you support. Tarrant exposing himself and the future coach being out with players 2 hours after they were to be back at the hotel. Then CEO comes on Perth radio yesterday morning and says the was no Tarrant incident, wow I thought West Coast was the only team in Perth to cover things up! Oh well the Dockers have one alcohol fueled up thug to fill in for this alcohol fueled up thug and thats not counting the other 3 alcohol fueled up thugs already in the team.

Cookster said...

Andrew, at least he didn't have a hooter full of coke or was caught in the dunnies firing up a crack pipe and mumbling something about 1,000 days of solitude. Go whip yourself with a car arial until you start talking sense.

Anonymous said...

Of course he wasn't! The little angel has never touched the stuff. He just belts people up and then runs off. Fremantle can't complain, they knew that is why Collingwood got rid of him after he blew his last chance with them last year. Do you even have police in WA or do you just hide under a blanket and hope all this stuff will go away?

Anonymous said...


Don't you have Year 10 Social Studies exams to cram for?

I know it's nice to get a word in now and then with the adults...but you've had your say champ and now why don't you just run along and annoy someone on myspace or youtube...the opiates of the Generation Y masses.

Fremantle, Connolly and Tarrant will overcome all hurdles.

Kind Regards,
Bubba Zanetti

Anonymous said...

You think I am a 15 year old do you Bubba? Do you pick on 15 year old kids often? Or do you just dream about it? No I am sure you are right, Connolly and Tarrant will get past this, it is an easy situation to overcome. Just like punching your way out of a paper bag. Tell me something else, didn't Mark Harvey give Jeff Farmer a spray via a press conference earlier this year? Something along the lines of he shouldn't let himself get in situations where he could get in trouble late at night. Can't wait till he takes over from Chris.

Cookster said...

As Constable Care says Andy:

Mix with guys like Cousins and Kerr,
Where metamphetamine abuse may occur,
You may find that down the track,
Life's cold as ice and fraught with cracks.

There was a young man called Fletcher,
Who ended up on a stretcher,
How he got there no one knows,
But thrice did he almost curl up his toes.

There was a young man called Benny,
Who would run at the drop of a penny,
Until one night, he had an awful fright and he'll never do drugs againy.

Okay, okay, it's not great literature, but no bad for a five minute jobbie inbetween meetings!

Go the Sainters!

Anonymous said...

Well done Saints! Who would've known a team of Saints would do so well in a state like WA. The only bad thing about the round was they didn't win by more and go above Fremantle on the ladder. I am sure that it will happen eventually though.