Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas Lunch in the Park

Thanks to everyone who helped make this year's Mission Australia Christmas Lunch in the Park such a great day for the 1,400 men, women and children who came along.

It was my first 'CLIP' and it was a hectic few months in the lead-up to what is without doubt Australia's biggest charity Christmas lunch, but the end result is worth its weight in gold.

A big thanks to Nathan Morris from NOVA breakfast fame, who bought along his family while he did the MC gig and made everyone chuckle as they tucked into their turkey and ham lunches.

I'll be asking for your help again next year, so be ready folks. Numbers were down this year, probably as a result of the federal government's $1,000 bonus payments allowing many families to spend Christmas in their own homes, but I reckon next year is going to be the big test.

But for now, stay safe and have a very happy start to 2009. X

Monday, December 22, 2008

Men behaving badly - so what???

C'mon folks

What's all the fuss over the Andrew O'Keefe 'Guttergate Affair' huh? Did he snort cocaine off a stripper's bare backside? Did he throw a shoe at Kevin Rudd and scream 'The honeymoon is over pal!' huh?

No, he did none of those things. Sure he got maggoted and crawled in a Chapel Street gutter. Yes, he talked crap about kiwi fruit farmers. Indeed, he used inappropriate language and fell into the arms of strange girls...

Wake up Australia, it's Christmas party time!!! The only thing he's done wrong is get caught on video. Nothing going on here that I haven't seen at plenty of end of year functions.

I think certain sections of the meedya ought to get over themselves before more 'blooper' tapes make an appearance! Either that, or Ben Cousins should do something really special like walk down the street, fart, or scratch his bits, cause then there'll be no room left on pages 1-10.

I bet you lovely readers out there - and I'm sure there are at least three - can tell me some better stories than that? C'mon, time to fess up now... or, do you have any other celeb behaving badly stories.

If you're lucky, I might just tell you about my trip to Rottnest with Kim Wilde. Merry Christmas folks and have a safe and happy New Year!!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Kiwi fizz THE best lemonade

Those who know me will tell you that I'm not shy of a little Kiwi baiting, you know, the tasteful sheep shagging gags, having a guffaw about their funny little words like jandles, chilly bins (chully buns) and hokey pokey... all harmless stuff... suxty sux, hee hee...

But hey, Bro, things are slowly starting to turn around. I have a new found rispict for our island cousins and it's come in the form of a 330ml bottle of lemonade.

Dead set, I walked into an upmarket bottle-o the other day in search of a warm cask of Fruity Lexia, when I was struck by a sudden thirst of the tongue swelling variety. So what to have, I thought as my eyes gave the small soft drink cabinet the quick once up and down... and there it was, Phoenix Organic Lemonade - Naturally Bittersweet.

I grabbed a bottle and rolled it around in my hands checking out what I'd be getting for my $3.20 and there it was, 'proudly made in New Zealand'. A bloody import. Can't we make a half decent lemonade over here on the big island???

But bugger it, this dry as a dead dingo's donger situation was now beyond my control and this lemonade was going to be mine, import or not. Even the bloke behind the counter was talking it up.

And to be honest, it was CHOICE bro... the duck's nuts, the bee's knees, the dog's bollocks. It really WAS naturally bittersweet and yes, I could taste that natural cane sugar on the back of my tongue. Bliss.

I was hooked. So much so that after picking the young bloke up from school and giving him a taste test to confirm my miraculous discovery, I had to go back and procure a four pack.

After checking out the website I'm now craving more. That cola is calling my name and there's a whole bunch of fruity stuff I haven't even had time to consider.

I'm yet to find the Phoenix range anywhere else, hence, I will not divulge the source of my find right now... if you do find out, I will quite simply have to kill you - a 330ml bottle in the back of the bonce perhaps?

Oh, and I forgot all about that Fruity Lexia in the end...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Marketing heavyweights descend on Perth

Perth is set to play host to the biggest marketing and business conference in the State’s history at the Australian Masters Marketing Summit 2009 (AMMS09). You can join the facebook group and stay up-to-date here.

AMMS09, the brainchild of Yellow Empire founder Peter Aleksander, will bring together 19 of the world’s most high profile marketing gurus for two days of education and insight on March 17 and 18 at the Sheraton Hotel.

The event was launched on 1 December, with Mr Aleksander outlining his thinking behind hosting such a large-scale, big name conference.

“This event was born out of a desire to bring the world’s heavy hitters in the marketing game to us – to make Perth the destination for a change and create an event that really is world class,” Mr Aleksander said.

“To that end I’ve secured industry leaders from around the globe, including the US, Asia, Europe, the UK and Australia, to share their expertise in an environment that encourages creativity and collaboration.

“At long last, Perth’s marketing, advertising, promotions and event management people will have access to the elite of their peer groups – the innovators of our generation - without having to travel across the country to do so.

“It’s a chance to tap into the latest trends, mind-sets, practises and strategies from the greatest minds representing the leading brands that shape the marketing world and its consumers,” he said.

Mr Aleksander said the goal of the conference was for delegates to leave “armed with an arsenal of new ideas, solutions and strategies that can be immediately built into marketing budgets to drive revenue growth in 2009”.

The event will provide valuable marketing information to a wide audience, providing beneficial tools to assist small and medium sized businesses through to national and international brands.

Early bird tickets are available until 19 December, with further details available at

Speakers at AMMS09 include:

• Bernie Mullins Ph D, Director The Aspire Group and former CEO of Atlanta Hawks & Thrashers.
• Larry DeGaris Ph D, Director Sponsorship Strategy Indianapolis, USA.
• Rebekah Horne, General Manager Fox Media Interactive Europe; My Space.
• Ian Stewart, Senior Vice President MTV Asia.
• Michelle Pilot, Vice President of Marketing Lexus Group.
• Andrew Ciae, Director of Marketing Lexus Group.
• Ben Wicks, Director of Sponsorship Fosters Group.
• Sean Pickwell, Managing Director Waterfront Media.
• Tim Addington, Editor B&T Magazine.
• Gina Unwin, National Manager Brand & Sponsorship HSBC.
• Mike Wilson, Director Naked Communications.
• Annick Perrin, Client Services Manager ikon Communications.
• Brian Gallagher, CEO Full Circle Media.
• James Neale, Managing Director Traffic Marketing.
• Steve Fontanot, Senior Account Director Making Waves Australia.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

NOVA crew wrapping for charity

It was great to see Nathan and Cambo head down to Mission Australia's East Perth headquarters today to wrap a few presents in the lead up to Christmas Lunch in the Park.

There were lots of bright, shiny things to keep Nathan distracted and a large bunny that needed binding before he managed to seal it in its Christmas wrapping. Cambo, of course, chose a cricket bat to parcel up, then had a go at wrapping Nathan up in some stunning gold paper - he came up a treat.

We're looking for more volunteers to do their stint in Santa's special workshop, so if you have a spare hour to help out give Jan at Mission a call on 9225 0413.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

What are you doing Christmas Day

Mission Australia's Christmas Lunch in the Park provides a special day out for Perth's homeless and disadvantaged communities.

And this year we need your help to stump up the dollars to make it all happen and to lend us some of your time to come into the East Perth offices and help wrap presents - details below.

Now in its 33rd year, the annual lunch held at Wellington Square Park in East Perth looks set to attract a record attendance in 2008. Indeed, increasing financial pressures will see attendee numbers rise considerably at this year’s event, which plays host to between 1,500 and 1,800 people.

Those numbers to rise even more sharply in 2009 and beyond as the economic crisis bites deeper into the WA economy.

The good news for Mission Australia and the people who join us on Christmas Day is that the overwhelming generosity of the WA public during the 2007 appeal meant that we had almost enough gifts left over to cover this year’s event.

What that means is we can focus on raising the funds required to pay for the cost of hosting the lunch and start preparing for 2009. It might seem premature to be looking ahead to next Christmas, but we’re expecting there will be a lot more people needing our help in the year ahead.

We’re asking the WA public to help us today, to make sure that those in our community who are most in need don’t suffer even more tomorrow.

It’s really a matter of putting things into perspective – we all talk about the impact of a global financial crisis, but it’s worth remembering that for those that are homeless or disadvantaged, ‘doing it tough’ is a way of life every day of the year.

Many families are already in a position where they can’t provide a Christmas meal and presents for their children and for them it’s going to get even harder.

Christmas Lunch in the Park continues to be a key feature of Perth’s festive season, bringing companies and hundreds of volunteers and donors together to make sure Christmas is a special time for everyone.

It's both an important service and a social event for families and individuals whose lives have been affected by poverty, sudden illness, marriage breakdown, unemployment, drug and alcohol abuse or homelessness.

Perth’s biggest Christmas Day charity event provides a meal, presents, entertainment and companionship for Perth people and struggling families.

Financial donations are particularly important to help us run this event and the people of WA can get involved through donations or table sponsorships.

We’re also looking for individuals and corporate groups to spare some time to come into our offices to wrap gifts, from Monday December 1 until Friday December 19.

For enquiries regarding donations of money or gifts, please contact Mission Australia on 9225 0416 or email You can also make online donations quickly and easily by clicking HERE.

To volunteer to help wrap gifts, please call Jan Gilbert on 9225 0413 or email or me direct at

I'll be there on the day, along with our very special MC Nathan from NOVA and his Mum and Dad - watch this space for the post-event piccies and PLEASE, do what you can to help.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Ralph Magazine botches boob job

According to, men's mag Ralph has managed to lose a couple of sea containers filled with plastic blow-up breasts.

The containers turned up dockside after an uneventful journey from Beijing, but were totally titless, with nary a nork in site.

Thinking that someone had made a boob of the job and maybe mixed up the bevy of bazoombas with a shipment of floaties or inflatable air matresses, they went back to the shipping company with a big WTF?

As we speak, no one has yet been able to put a finger on the culprits, although the renegade terrorist group Benny Hill Jihad Alliance has claimed responsibility in a letter to 'Jugs Ahoy Magazine'.

In the meantime, Ralph Magazine is fast approaching deadline and looking at alternatives for its blow-up boob promotion. "Unfortunately, it looks like being a Christmas without many happy mammaries," a spokesperson said.