JDRF Walk for a Cure

Hi all, time to show me the colour of your money!

In October, I'll be taking part in JDRF's Walk to Cure Diabetes, an event that raises money to find a cure for type 1 diabetes - a chronic, life-threatening illness that affects over 140,000 Australians and millions of people world-wide.

Almost every family is touched by this disease in some way, including my own.

Type 1 diabetes is an auto-immune disease that is not caused by poor diet or lifestyle choices. An individual with type 1 diabetes needs up to six insulin injections every day, just to stay alive, as well as multiple finger prick blood sugar tests.

People don’t grow out of type 1 diabetes and they are at risk of developing long-term life threatening complications, including kidney disease, blindness, limb amputation and heart failure.

As a father of three, and watching first-hand what this disease can do to a young person both physically and emotionally, a week doesn't go by when I don't wonder, "What if it's one of my kids next."

Type 1 diabetes is a disease that changes the lives of whole families. While young children are great at handling these profound changes, it can be heart breaking to watch as they grow into young adults only to realise the enormity of their battle ahead.

To put it into perspective, how would you feel knowing that by the time your son or daughter reaches the age of 25, they may be facing blindness as a result of diabetic retinopathy? Or, as was the case of one of JDRF’s long-serving patrons Susan Alberti, holding your daughter in your arms as she suffers heart failure mid-flight on her way for treatment?

JDRF is the world's leading non-profit contributor to type 1 diabetes research and the only charity dedicated solely to finding a cure through the support of medical research.

That's why I am walking – to help find a cure, to consign type 1 diabetes to the history books. All donations, regardless of amount, will bring us closer to a cure - and a cure is close, so your donation is very important.

Donate now by clicking on the link below.
When you donate a receipt will be automatically generated.

I WANT TO DONATE RIGHT NOW!

Bendigo Bank ad drops the 'C' word

I'm so very glad to see that it's not just me who thinks that the Bendigo Bank's latest ad is sending out a not so subtle message about how the community perceives your average financial institution.

Like myself, the good people at Crikeymedia couldn't help but notice that when the assembled characters in its ad come together, each bearing a different letter from the word COMMUNITY, the three letters in the background stand out from the rest - C_NT. Yes, the most wicked C word of them all.

That's all well and good, but the missing 'U' is being carried in the form of a balloon by a small girl, who is lifted into the heavens as the ad disolves into the Bendigo Bank logo, with the U rising up alongside it.

The first time I saw the ad I turned to my wife to ask the question, only to find her doing likewise and nodding with a bemused, wide-eyed smile. This morning a colleague wandered past my desk and asked if I'd seen the ad - 'yes, and yes' I replied immediately.

All I can think is that Bendigo Bank is using this not so subliminal message to tell us that while we're a part of your community, the bigger banks are just c**ts.

Hats off I say. As long as the nine-year-old doesn't turn to me in the break between Olympics action and ask 'Daddy, doesn't that spell c**t?' then why not.

I would have thought maybe a series of ads featuring different swear words might have been the go - start with a fart, build up to a shit, throw down the gauntlet with a f**k and then ram home the message with a c**t.

But then I'm not in advertising...

Subcontinent call centres go Aussie

I'm one of those people too lazy to have registered my number on the 'Please Stop Calling Me, Now Piss Off Before I Blow a Whistle In Your Ear' website.

Also, I like teh sport... like putting Sympathy for Devil on high volume and answering the door in your undies when the Mormon's come a knocking.

But just lately the call centre operators in whatever foreign locale they come from - primarily the subcontinent - have gone all Aussie on us. I'm juggling a baby in one arm, while knocking up a vegemite sandwich and doing the dishes at the same time, when inevitably the phone rings.

"Hello?"

....loooong pause (the dead giveaway it's a call centre operator on the other side of the globe).

"Hello, Mr Cookster? This is Kevin from South Sydney calling..." Now imagine Peter Sellers in The Party and that 'Birdy Num Nums' accent... or perhaps Greg Ritchie doing his outlandishly patronising 'Mahatma Coat' character. You get the idea that the liklihood of Kev being a Rabbitoh-supporting South Sydney lad is about as plausible as ... ummm... (can't think of his name) leading the Liberals to victory in the next Federal Election.

"How are you today Mr Cookster?"

"A bit crook to be honest Kev. Had a blue with the missus this mornin' then got done over by a used car salesman who's as slippery as a butcher's digit. Fair dinkum, I was that angry at the bloke I was shakin' like a shithouse in a thunderstom. Took me for a test run and the bastard couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's bum!

"So, Kev me old, what can I do you for? Mate, you there mate?"

Now there's one very confused phone operator who would have been asking some strange questions at the family repast that evening. "What is this, butcher's digit? And why do Australian's put greasy sticks in dog bottoms?"

To be honest, I would have given Kev the benefit of the doubt in this instance, particularly with foreign call centre operators copping a right old pasting in so many other forums, until I met Barb.

"Hello Mr Cookster, this is Barb from North Melbourne calling. How are you doing today?"

"Barb, g'day love, I'm bonser thanks - hey how about that grouse win by the Roos on Fridee night ay? Jeeze, a bloke wouldn't be dead for quids!"

You get the idea?

Anyone else taken a call from the likes of Murray from Mildura, Barry from Brisbane and Maureen from Mandurah? Drop me a line.

Too bad, so sad - Election 08

It appears that Mr Fels forgot to set his alarm clock and missed the cut off date to register People Against Daylight Saving (PADS) for the coming state election... what a shame. It's been a while since we've had a loony left runner to make things interesting.

But I wouldn't worry too much. Although Barnett's chief of staff position has gone to Deidre 'don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out' Willmott, someone will need to be in charge of the Grand Canals Project (GCP) when it is sneakily foisted back onto the agenda. Anthony, that job is YOURS.

Expect more from me on the election later, but to be honest, I'm yet to be inspired. Right now I'm heading over to The West Online to see what in hell Paul Murray's latest blog headed up 'Is baby sniffing going too far?' is all about... surely not???

Drop me a line, or subscribe

A happy Wednesday to you and just a short note today to ask that if you are a regular visitor to The Perth Files, do me a favour and leave a comment on the post that takes your interest.

Or, look across to the right hand side bar and click on RSS feeds - takes two seconds and you'll be able to check when the latest posts are up... that way when I'm being a lazy bastard you don't have to waste your time dropping in.

A couple of simple reasons for the request:

Firstly it lets me know that you're out there and links me back to your site if you're a fellow blogger... if you've got an interest in what I'm saying, I'm sure I'll find your yarns of interest as well.

Quite simply, you interact with me and I'll drop in and help populate your comments pages...

Secondly, it raises my hopes that some of the dodgy keywords that bring people to TPF, read 'Kerry Anne + witch', 'Perth animal sex', 'cops die blog' etc, aren't leaving people disappointed in what they find here. I don't mind if these particular people are disappointed, in fact I hope they are, but it'd be nice to know about it when people actually find what they're looking for, or enjoy what they find.

I also don't mind if you have a go at me either. Nothing like a bit of robust debate, so knock yourselves out :-)

So go on. Can I has comments pleeze? You can also find me lurking about facebook, or going by the monicker of freocookster on twitter.

Thanks to Darren Rowse at pro blogger for his insight.

People Against Daylight Savings - update

* Okay, I've just heard that Anthony Fels new party is actually called People Against Daylight Savings (PADS).

According to Labor, pads will be lining Anthony's cell as he takes a one way ride to the "political lunatic fringe".

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/01/2321435.htm?site=perth

Fels launches Anti-Daylight Savings Party

Fallen Lib Anthony Fels says that starting an Anti-Daylight Savings Party and running under this ticket at the next election is not a diversionary tactic, just a cheap way to win votes in the rural sector.

Attempting to extract Noel Chrichton-Browne's hand out from within his sock puppet persona, Felsy claims that DLS is the most pressing issue to our rural voters. To hell with climate change, salination, drought, land degredation and a faltering economy... nup, DLS is the cruncher.

And he's already started on the propaganda trail, inserting a call to arms on the issue in this very clever cinema advertising campaign - it kicks in at about the two minute mark.

Wasn't life great in the 50s? No nasty DLS and you could buy butter soaked popcorn, braised offal and your favourite full strength ciggies from the drive-in snack bar... why do I get the feeling that some people would like to take us back there?

The Worst of Perth - Richie Benaud

A shout out to the peeps at The Worst of Perth and that very funny man The Lazy Aussie (TLA), who is responsible for driving at least half of the 5-6 people who visit this site every day... okay, maybe there are more, but it's not like there's any danger of The Perth Files melting down from a traffic overload.

Anyway,Teh Cookster has become quite the fan of TWOP and very happy to supply the odd pic or video where I feel they may have TWOP potential, ie, the current Richie Benaud image and the Subi Oval poo vid that is causing the boy so much angst.

So, once you've finished here --- and please stay as long as you like --- get over to The Worst of Perth and join the merry gang in a bit of banter on the very best of the worst things our fine city has to offer.

Oh and be sure and tell your friends to visit. And please be my friend on facebook... Needy? Clingy? Just plain creepy? You betcha!

'Be bold Perth people'

A well crafted blog by Stephen Bevis, Arts Editor of The West Australian, on the dilema facing the Perth populace over the redevelopment of the Swan River foreshore.

He's right on the money when he suggests that erring on the side of caution on this one is destined to leave us with something second rate, a 'coulda been' development that promised so much more.

The Pope down under

Great to see that some creative minds have started cranking up the Pope merchandise, although a bit too late to take advantage of those cashed-up young Catholics who were here in numbers only a short time ago.

You could store this little number in your drawer alongside your Pope-pourri.

Ahem, boom-tish...

Super glue? Yeah right!

I'm a bit shagged today to be honest. What with all those mountain stages of the Tour De Doping over the past few nights, a man has his limits. If you see me heading towards the edge of a steep cliff with a deep valley below, be sure to throw some Powerade in my fatigued face, or at least grab me by the sissy bar.

Good job I don't actually ride a bike. Unless it's some kind of holiday thing to keep the kids happy, or I'm at Rottnest where the bastard bike is the only form of land transport.

But I digress. What I wanted to talk about was what is probably the world's most over-hyped, but completely useless product - super glue.

Over many years I've kept a miniscule tube of this crap in my 'handyman's kit' --- Grandad's old Gladstone fishing bag --- and pulled it out on occasion to fix the unfixable. Success rate? Zero per cent.

Today I tried bonding two bits of smooth, clean plastic together --- standard fare --- and I even clamped it together for 10 minutes. Nothing. Could have achieved a better result with Clag and there wouldn't be any chance of glueing my hand to my penis when I went for a mid-job leak.

The stuff appears to be bloody fantastic when it comes to bonding human body parts, but have a crack with wood, plastic, metal, ceramics (think cracked bong many, many years ago... man) and it is the proverbial tits on a bull.

Okay, maybe I'm doing it all wrong, but if that was the case I think I'd be in care, with a bib around my neck to catch the drool. Maybe I should be. But can ANYONE out there share any stories of success with super glue? Please!

I recall the ads where some construction worker dork is suspended from the ground by his helmet (on his head... keep it nice!) which is superglued to a rafter. Quite a line in bullshit I'm thinking. I'd like to see the company CEO try the same trick at about 800 metres.

Your thoughts?

Bring back the Pope Scope!

Well, the Pontif has come and gone, leaving a lot of Catholic youth facing their biggest comedown since the red cordial days.

Sure it was great to see old Ratzy out there on the Harbour, donning the policemen's hat, pressing the flesh, etc, etc, but I'm a little non-plussed with the lack of merch being peddled on the streets.

Where the hell... excuse the blasphemy... are the Pope's authorised tour t-shirts and bomber jackets? Why can't I get my own souvenir pointy hat? You would have at least thought we'd see a few old man Pope masks, or Papal staffs that play a burst of 'Wassa Matter You?' when you press a button on the handle.

Sheesh! Back in the day when we had the last Papal appearance, good old WA Salvage had the foresight to mass produce carboard 'Pope Scopes' - I guess it was Luigi's RC upbringing that prompted this wise marketing decision. And you know what, I did sava-da-money and puchased at least half a dozen of these crude, yet highly effective periscopes.

Sadly, they were all stolen by crack heads and heathens back in my university days, so I can't show you the design. And no, I never actually spotted the Pope, but those suckers were just the thing for live gigs and keeping an eye on our attractive next door neighbour.

For the love of God, someone please tell me this occasion didn't go by without nairy a Pope scope in sight? Surely not???

Only in America Part II

Of course, the same group that is falling over itself to support the AFA in its homophobic boycott of McDonald's, also retails a dandy line in neo-conservative t-shirts.

If you're a right wing nut job and you want the world to know it, WorldNetDaily can fit you up for a pro-gun, anti-Obama, kill the pinko, t-shirt of your choice from small sizes to suit the kiddies, right up to your XXXXXXL grandaddy of 'em all.

Here are a couple of my favourites, although the 'Meat is Murder... tasty, tasty murder' and 'Pave the Whales', complete with a bulldozer running over said whale, takes the cake for sheer bloody-minded stupidity.

Let me know if you have a leftist slogan that can match it with this lot.

The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs: Proof that God exists and has a sense of humor

The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs: Proof that God exists and has a sense of humor

Only in America...

Lordy, lordy, pants on fire! Yes, in another example of how some things can only ever happen in the US of A, deep, dark conservative right group the American Family Association (AFA)are boycotting McDonald's because they claim it supports and encourages homosexuality.

According to US-based blog Think Progress:

AFA is upset at McDonald’s for refusing to condemn Vice President of Communications Richard Ellis’s decision to serve on the Board of Directors of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). AFA President Donald Wildmon said the situation is “strange” because “it’s the family that McDonald’s appeals to — children’s playland, you know, all the little toys, all of that. And they are promoting a lifestyle that would utterly destroy the traditional family.”

Okay, "all the little toys, all of that." So I'm assuming that Don's belief is that gay people don't have an appreciation of playland and toys... possibly too busy having rampant sexual encounters in leather bars, or trying their hardest to get into poor Don's well starched y-fronts?

I have to say, in my years of public relations work for the Golden Arches (yes, I do PR work for McDonald's in Western Australia), having to prepare a statement to combat this sort of homophobic, red neck agenda, is something I haven't yet had the pleasure to do.

Here are a few comments that have been posted on the Boycott McDonald's website:

"WE GO TO MCDONALDS FOR YEARS. NO MORE. WE WILL NEVER SET FOOT IN YOUR PLACE AGAIN. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF FAMILY PLACES APPROVING THE GAY LESBIAN ALLIANCE. NO MORE KIDS MEALS FOR US. AND MANY OTHERS WILL BE TOLD ABOUT IT."

"McDonald's says they are committed to diversity. Political Correctness and diversity are two of the major reasons that this country is in such a mess. Diversity is not a strength. It is a weakness. Diversity divides a country or a pople. Also homosexual life style is one of the major reasons that Greek and Roman empires fell. I will not eat at McDonals' again."

Sweet jesus, we're talkin' some real homeland folks here, the sort of people who still cheer at the final scenes in Easy Rider where Hopper and Fonda get blown off their choppers. Yes siree, aint no diversity 'llowed round those parts, whether it be racial, cultural or sexual.

And there's nothing like a sweeping statement that homosexuality "is one of the major reasons that Greek and Roman empires fell". Well, ah don't rightly know if a bit of mano-a-mano action really had much to do with all that Jim Bob, Billy Joe or whatever name your Mama (or was it your Sister?) decided to annoint you with. Maybe you just fell off a rogue steer, hit your head and you aint thinkin' straight?

This one's a real cracker:

"Dearest McDonalds, I am deeply saddened at your decision to sponsor the sodomitic lifestyle. Thoughts have consequences, which usually lead to actions and it seems that McDonalds has caved to a few sodomites that believe that their choice to have sexual relations with the same sex is on par with other true civil rights. I am sorry to say that my limited discretionary spending allocated to fast food will now go to any other restaurant besides your own. McDonalds...Think things through and seek the will of God, not the will of people who believe that their physical urges to have sex in an un-natural manner have any priority what-so-ever. Good Luck...:("

But of course, this person, obviously not "sodomotic" only ever has sex in a perfectly "natural" manner. Or maybe she isn't getting any at all?

The common thread in all these comments is that these people want McDonald's to remain "neutral". Well, I'm sorry, a company that employs and serves a diverse range of people who are white, black, asian, hispanic, straight, gay, christian, muslim, jewish, rastafarian, etc, etc, etc, is socially obligated to support their rights as independently thinking human beings.

It's the bloody minded and ignorant members of society who think their way is the be all and end of of civilisation that pose the greatest threat to our way of life. Maybe our more progressive companies recognise this and are quite happy to leave you behind as they move ahead with the times?

Fishing the social media seas

I loved this quote that was in the program for a great PRIA seminar I attended today on New Media and PR:

'The good news is, everyone's visible online. The bad news is we're all three inches tall.' Seth Godin, Purple Cow.

It reminds me of a tag line that fellow blogger Tea Brennan once used: 'I went outside once and the graphics were shit.'

Yes, there's no doubt that we're all spending a truck load more time hanging out and communicating online and those conversations are bouncing around out there on the interwebs for EVERYONE to read.

And trawling this vast sea of information are whole fleets of search engines like Google Alert, dipping their lines into the briny and landing fat, fishy hauls of conversation into the inboxes of people worldwide. Us fisherpeople specify what species of information we're after, but just like the 'real world', sometimes you've got to wear the odd clump of seaweed, or pull your hook off an information snag.

* Okay, it's a tenuous analogy, but it's the best I can do over a luke warm coffee and a bag of orange snakes! *

What today's seminar has reinforced is that the term virtual reality is increasingly a misnomer. Today's online world is as real as bricks and mortar and for people working in the communications game it's a case of come on board today, or risk becoming the techno dinosaurs of tomorrow.

Yeah, you're probably saying 'ah, der!', but as someone who has had their toe in the online world since 2005, there is so much I still need to learn... and it changes every day. While we have office IT - slash - techno geeks who champion the online world, in some countries they have PR people who work exclusively within 'teh interwebs' - Digital Influence Teams... go figure! In Australia we're still fighting for the right to access facebook at work.

I also found out this morning that blogging is like ohhhh sooooo yesterday, but hey, I'm an old fashioned sorta guy. Twittering is now the way to go, so expect me to drag myself out of the briny and up into the big blue sky any day soon! And beyond that I'll be Plurking and Plazing on my mobile phone.

Yes indeed, it's time to get with the program or risk legions of smarmy Gen-Y fake tan purveyors snickering at us as we get our Twitters confused with our facebooks.

A big thanks to: Richard Giles from Recommendations Ventures and scouta.com; Bronwen Clune, CEO of Norg Media, founder of perthnorg.com.au; and Steven Taylor from Creative Nature Communications who has been using the interwebs since the days when Commodore 64s were still being traded on the open market.

One last thing - I know all three of you have got your information long-lines dangling in the briny waiting for any company mentions via Google Alert, so if you do happen to sail past The Perth Files, please be sure to leave me a message.

Gas crisis, what crisis?

Since Carps captured the airwaves last night to advise us to stop burning so much gas, there have already been a few grumblings among those who feel it's their God given right to chew through our natural resources, no matter how finite they might be. To these people, the pipeline explosion may as well have taken place on Uranus for all they care...

Anyway, I'm convinced that those who flaunt the call to turn down the gas are the same people who steadfastly refuse to obey water restrictions and would defend their right to have a green lawn (and a warm house) with sawn-off shotguns, if they could only convince the powers that be that guns are good. Yes, while I'm outside hosing the leaves off my driveway, I demand the right to fire up the Rinnai space heater... and I'll leave all the lights on as well, so ner!

I'm sure that these people are a small minority, but if anyone out there really does feel aggrieved at the thought of having to layer up to beat the chill instead of hitting a switch, they should remember how the gas crisis could be so much worse. This Wikipedia extract gives you some context:

The fire at the plant was not extinguished until two days later. The Longford plant was shut down immediately, and the state of Victoria was left without its primary gas supplier. Within days, the Victorian Energy Network Corporation shut down the state's entire gas supply.

The sudden crisis was devastating to Victoria's economy, crippling industry and the commercial sector (in particular, the hospitality industry which relied on natural gas for cooking).

Natural gas is also widely used residentially in Victoria for hot water and gas heating, and Victorians endured 20 days of cold showers and chilly nights.

Gas supplies to Victoria were resumed on 14 October. Many Victorians were outraged and upset to discover only minor compensation on their next gas bill, with the average compensation figure being only around $10.

Yes, I was living in Melbourne at the time and while we Perthites do cop our early morning chills, imagine living with days on end where the temperature struggles to get beyond 12 degrees at any stage. Then try and imagine how having NO gas would affect you. And when I say no gas, I mean having your gas turned off at the meter and $5,000 fines if you get caught turning them back on.

Having no gas means no hot showers for a start, unless you have an electric hot water system. Oh joy, struggle out of bed at 5am and spend the next 30 minutes boiling the kettle non-stop to get enough hot water for a sponge bath. Those brave enough, or in desperate need of a proper hair wash, simply ran the gauntlet and endured an ice cold shower. Bracing, very bracing.

Of course, those with electric systems found their houses resembling the old Rottnest Island shower building, with people lined up, shower cap in hand.

And then there were those who gave up on bathing... I met quite a few of them on the public transport system. A fragrant bunch.

So, you can't shower, but maybe you can make up for it with a nice cooked breakfast? No, not if you're like many people who have a gas stove and oven. Suddenly every night is Lean Cuisine night. In the evenings you sit cold and slightly stinky in front of the flameless gas heater, chewing miserably on your TV dinner, watching the news for reports on those shameless parasitic scumbags who dare turn their gas back on.

A lot of children were spawned on those dark cold nights, so here's a thought! Rather than procrastinate about turning down the heating, do the wise thing and procreate instead - your country will thank you...

Friday the 13th

I'm not normally spooked by Friday the 13th, or the number 13 in general - both my wife and sister were born on the 13th and I'm yet to find the number of the beast tatooed on their heads... I have looked though.

However, this Friday the 13th was different, thanks largely to that blonde woman of indeterminate age on TV who reportedly used to be Kerrie Anne Kennerly.

Yes, I was doing the dad at home routine and inbetween mopping up sodden toast crusts and soiled nappies I sat down to check out Mornings with Kerrie-Anne, just to see how the old girl was travelling. When I worked at Channel Nine in Melbourne for a year, I shared an office with a larger than life framed photo of Kezza and a box of muesli once owned by Frankie J Holden, so I look on her as on old friend... how old I'm not exactly sure.

Anyway, after initially being taken aback by the bigger than big hair and ever deepening cleavage, I noted that she'd taken on a Friday the 13th theme - gravestones, plastic skeletons, lava lamps (WTF?) etc. And all her guests were involved with 'spooky stuff', including a white witch with a head of hair that looked like a stage prop... or a well groomed mop.

One of the the statistics they threw up on the show was that on Friday the 13th there is a 60% increase in traffic accidents. Great, I was taking the baby, a three-year-old and my son on a trip half way across Perth later that day and not only was I taking on Australia's worst drivers, I was now 60% more likely to encounter one that was totally wigged-out by superstitious Friday the 13th voodoo shit.

But hey, the weather was good, visibility excellent and the people mover in better working order than most Qantas jets... so off we went.

All went well for the first third of the journey and we were almost at the Leach Highway exit on the freeway when my nuff-nuff radar burst into action. Hello, hello, those boxes on the back of that ute don't look too stable. Hmmm, why is he driving like that. Okay, let's hope that box about to topple onto the road is empty...

Of course it wasn't empty. It was full. It was full of a large piece of steel, commonly refered to as a washing machine. Box hits freeway 10 metres in front of me, I brake slowly but forcefully, washing machine comes flying out of the box and skids across into the centre lane in a shower of sparks. Luckily, no one was in that lane next to me and even luckier still that the freakin' thing didn't head straight back into the people mover - I don't know what would happen if you hit a washing machine at 80 clicks, but it can't be good.

So we continued on our journey and finally got home safely, with nairy a whitegood in sight for the remainder of the trip.

Next year I'll stay at home and do a few loads of washing instead. And if the Miele even looks like trying to go me, I'll give it a swift clip around the soap tray. Thanks Kezza.

Bring back Boston Legal at 9.30!

Going off topic, I just wanted to vent for a moment about Channel Seven's decision to air the particularly lame, run of the mill new crime offering Criminal Minds at 9.30pm on Monday nights.

My beef? It pushes Boston Legal, arguably television's finest offering right now, out to a 10.30pm timeslot which is too 'effing late for this little black duck.

In recent weeks I've enjoyed ending my Monday nights with William Shatner and James Spader as they ponder the week just gone over a cognac and Cuban cigar on the balcony of their Boston condo... it's funny, it's irreverent, it's politically incorrect and it doesn't involve a bunch of scowling crime geeks solving some half arsed crime that no one gives a toss about anyway.

I'm sorry, but I'm so over the CSI-style television genre that I was never on the bandwagon in the first place.

I seem to recall the same fate afflicting The Sopranos and the West Wing... not good enough! It's bad enough when regular shows are pushed back by the likes of So You Think You Can Dance, Sing, Skate, Perform Open Heart Surgery, without this sort of blatant 'up yours' programming.

If you want to have your say, send 'em an email: programs@7perth.com.au

UPDATE:

I just got this email back from Channel Seven in response to my complaint and it's not good news:

Dear Mr Cooke

Thank you for your email.

We appreciate the time you have taken to contact us, as it is only through viewers such as yourself that we can gauge reactions to our programming.

Unfortunately Boston Legal has not attracted enough viewers for it to remain in the 9.30pm timeslot.

Regards

Janine Vidot
Program Department
Channel Seven Perth

So, people... we have a problem. I forsee a day when television will be comprised entirely of reality TV shows and crime dramas... with a sprinkle of Desperate Housewives to keep the Sex in the City brigade happy.

Maybe instead of relying entirely on numbers, potential advertisers should crunch the demographics and target a specific market, ie, today we'll try and sell our product in to 1.5 million people with a brain as opposed to 7 million people who are still trying to work out if it's feasible to microwave your own hand.

FFS, if a great show like Boston Legal can't hold down a 9.30pm timeslot on a Monday night, the future of clever TV is doomed.

Perth as it used to be... and still is

Ahhh, the good old days - all this joint needs is a bit of lawn!

I reckon if this was the scene facing us today, the developers would be licking their lips and falling over themselves to prepare concepts for a waterfront tourism precinct.

Amazingly, apart from the mud flats making way for the lawn, things haven't changed that much. They've spruced Kings Park up a bit and knocked up a bridge to let West Coast supporters across to the other side of the river (bad move), but essentially us West Aussies continue the tradition of frocking up and heading to the big hill overlooking the city to check out the view.

They also had a lot less blue green algie back in the day and I hear you could net a bucket of king prawns the size of a truckie's forearm in a lazy half hour. These days you're more likely to bag the odd blind mullet, but there are still plenty of red herrings to keep things interesting.